As a business coach, I have discovered that most of us have stories we tell ourselves. Without realizing it, chances are high that you have told yourself one (or more!) in the last few months. And believe it or not, these stories hinder your personal or professional growth and keep you from getting what you want.
Example of Stories We Tell Ourselves
Here is a typical question I get from my clients. Have you ever thought this?
“I haven’t heard back from that prospect. They probably think I’m too expensive. Should I follow up or let it go?”
And there it is… did you catch it? “They probably think I’m too expensive” is NOT a fact. This is a perfect example of the stories we tell ourselves.
Maybe they didn’t see your email yet. It could have ended up in their spam folder. Perhaps they are putting together follow-up questions for you. Instead of jumping straight off the cliff into the waters of self-doubt, consider other (more likely) possibilities.
Recognizing The Stories You Tell Yourself
I shared one example, but there are so many I hear on a regular basis. Does any of the following sound familiar?
- I am too old to start a new business.
- I do not have enough experience to take on a project of this scale.
- I am not a numbers person, so I will never understand this.
- I am not tech-savvy. This is too complicated for me.
- I cannot keep up with all things marketing and social media.
- I do not want to do IG live because it annoys people.
- I am too old for TikTok.
- I am too shy to put myself out there.
- I am just not confident enough.
If you recognize any of these, congratulations for taking the first step toward realizing this is negative self-talk – a story you tell yourself. The truth is, these are limiting beliefs that do not serve you. They waste your energy, undermine your confidence, and keep you from growing your business and achieving success.
Overcoming Your Stories
When you confuse your stories with the facts (and then start believing the stories) it is only a matter of time before they take their toll. For business success, it is essential to acknowledge and overcome this limiting internal dialogue.
As a “been there, done that” business coach, here are my tips to help you stop your self-sabotage!
Step 1: Do some self-reflection
Realize that not every thought that pops into your head is a fact. Agreed so far? Great. Even though you might believe the story that you are telling yourself, it is actually an opinion, not a fact. Once you recognize this distinction, you are on the right track!
Step 2: Challenge your story
Time to play detective! Is there real evidence to support your story? Can you say with conviction that the prospect who received your proposal thought your quote was too expensive? Or is that an assumption you are making? Question your story diligently and consider all possible angles until no stone is left unturned.
Step 3: Share your story
Sometimes you simply need an outsider’s perspective. Talk to a friend, colleague, peer, or business coach. Sharing your story with someone you trust will give you clarity. Even if you are convinced your story checks out, you might be surprised by an entirely different perspective you have not considered.
Step 4: Create a NEW story
I know, I know… easier said than done, right? But stay with me here. Consider the “what if I’m wrong” scenario. Come up with a few scenarios that could discredit your false story. Choose another truth to believe that empowers, uplifts, and boosts your confidence.
Step 5: Take action
Now, make a move toward your goals. Do not second-guess or over-think it. (Remember, you have done that already!) Ask yourself what you need to get you from A to Z, and then across the finish line.
The stories we tell ourselves impede our growth and expose us as our own worst enemy. Step into your power by separating facts from assumptions and making the necessary changes. Trust me, this is a game-changer!
Pivot your perspective. Get into your success mindset and get back on course. You can achieve the business success you deserve!
Feeling overwhelmed? Remember that you don’t have to figure it out alone. Sign up for a business strategy call, and I’ll help you determine your next steps.
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