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It has been said throughout the generations that you can be your own worst enemy. I don’t know about you but that can take so many different forms throughout your lifetime. If you have never had a problem with self-sabotage then I salute you. You have really done well!
For the rest of you who struggle with self-sabotage and don’t know how to stop it or don’t understand the root system of self-sabotage may I suggest that its roots could be in negative self-talk? Sometimes your mind talks to you so much that you almost ignore it but it still does affect you on a subconscious level.
What you feed your mind, controls your actions, and eventually your destiny. So, let’s discover how you can get over this mental roadblock.
Think About What You’re Thinking About
For a week or two make a conscious effort to screen your thoughts. Make mental notes of how many times a day you have bad thoughts about yourself and how many times you start agreeing with those thoughts. For example, you have thoughts where you see your business failing in a certain way. From that thought, your self-talk could be something like, “You always fail anyway. Everything that you try never turns out the way you hope. So, of course, this isn’t going to pan out. It is just a matter of time.”
Catch the Thought Dead in Its Tracks
When you acknowledge a thought that is not helpful for you, don’t sit there and meditate on it! The longer you think about it the more your self-talk will want to jump in and join the “fun”. Give it no opportunity to have any “fun”. Capture the thought and start speaking the opposite. Use the example above and instead of allowing the negative self talk to speak up, speak to yourself positively. “I am more ready than ever to take my business to the next level! I have everything I need to be successful. I am doing what I am made to do and I will not fail!”
Would You Talk to Your Friend that Way?
When you assess your self-talk would you talk to your friend that way? If you’re a decent person, NO WAY! Well, it is time that you treat yourself like a friend and start giving yourself the same respect that you would give to your friends. If you wouldn’t want to hurt your friends with your words you should not be hurting yourself with your own words either.
Write it Down. Rip it Up. Throw it Away.
Sometimes you have to go the extra mile to bring about a change. When you are doing all the steps you know to do and you are just not getting the results you want there still might be some more interactive steps that you need to take. Old habits die hard at times.
So, if you have been doing all the tips listed above this for a few weeks and you’re still struggling try this one. Get a sheet of paper and start writing out all of your negative self-talk as it comes to mind. Don’t sugarcoat it. Don’t try to shorten it or alter it in any way. Write out the truth as long and lengthy as it might be.
Write it out till you’ve exhausted all your thoughts. Read through it. Verbally dismiss all of them, tear the paper up, and throw it away. This is showing to yourself and that unruly mind that you are no longer tolerating the negative self-talk and that you are evicting it from your life.
Be Mindful of Your Surroundings
Meaning, beware of negative people in general. When you have suffered from relentless negative self-talk and you’re now trying to get over it it’s like your emotional mental immunity system is down. You are more prone to relapsing into negativity when you surround yourself with those who are negative as the norm in any type of way. You don’t want to ruin all your hard work by whom you’re surrounding yourself with.
In closing, let’s get to the root of your self-sabotage. The culprit being your own self-talk. You have too much at stake to let this linger any longer. It’s time to rise up and not be held back in any subtle or direct way! If you have any encouraging words on this topic please share.
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15 Responses
This is my biggest challenge, and the reason I think it is so destructive to an entrepreneur is that negative self talk leads to fear, and lack of risk taking. If it is not going to turn out well, why take a chance? I think many of us are on a pendulum, swinging from bold and powerful management of our businesses, to shame and anger at our self when we do not succeed the way we want to.
Difficult to turn around. Perhaps all we can do is lessen tha swing.
Such a great comment! Yes, I totally agree with you.
So good Nancy! I tend to be my own worst enemy sometimes.
Love this, Nancy! Being aware and capturing the thought before it takes root is such great advice.
Janet, thank you so much for your response! I am glad it resonated with you.
Great points you’ve made Nancy, thanks
You are so welcome!
Well, as I practice being positive I can say I am a champ at negative self talk!
You nailed it. It’s so hard as a creative person, as self doubt definitely creeps in, but as a creative person trying to run a biz, it can be immobilizing.
Your suggestions are so helpful.
I know what you mean! It is hard to balance creativity with the functions of running a business! I believe that things will become so much easier for you in that realm. You will soon see the power of positive self talk at work in your life, that there will be no turning back to the negative.
I know I’m my own worst enemy! Such a great post, Nancy. It’s so good to know I’m not alone.
Thank you! No, you are definitely not alone. We are all walking this out at one level or another.
Whenever I find myself in a cycle of negative self-talk, I run right back to Louise Hay. Her books have saved me so many times. And, your tip about asking yourself if this is something you’d say to your sister or friend is spot on.
Jillian, thank you for your response! It is so good to have a resource you can turn to when you need to refocus.
Great advice Nancy! Thank you
You’re very welcome!